Todays funny.

The difference between "Potentially" and "Reality" Youngest Son: Tell me Daddy, what is the difference between "Potentially" and "reality?" Dad: I will show you. Dad turns to his wife and asks her, "Would you sleep with Robert Redford for 1 million dollars?" Wife: Yes, of course! I would never waste such an opportunity! Then Dad asks his daughter if she would sleep with Brad Pitt for 1 million dollars? Daughter: Wow! Yes! This is my fantasy! Dad turns to his eldest son and asks him, "Would you sleep with Tom Cruise for 1 million dollars?" Eldest son: Yeah! Why not? Imagine what I could do with 1 million dollars! I would not even hesitate! So the father turns back to his younger son saying: "You see son, 'potentially' we are sitting on 3 million dollars, but in 'reality' we are living with two hookers and a moffie!"

Wife: "What's your excuse for coming home this time of night?" Hubby: "Golfing with friends, dear." Wife: "What?? At 2 in the morning?" Hubby: "Yes, we used night clubs!" At the front of every adventure is a BMW

.I RIDE THEREFORE I AM!

International Harley riders greeting. ,I RIDE THEREFORE I AM!

I love this one...showmanship

Steven I,ve seen that photo before in an article a couple of years back in an American bike mag in a shoot out between the major middle weight DS bikes. The tester said that the bike handles jumps pretty well on take off and in the air but the landings, especially on bigger jumps, were perhaps a little harsh. Now we just need someone local to verify this.

May I answer this one? I RIDE THEREFORE I AM!

You certainly may Freak, you're just going to have to use someone else's Dakar.

CUSTOM BOXER SEEN IN BRAKPAN BRAKPAN BOXER: Pre-facelift GS. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . I have it on good authority that the suspension may need attention, otherwise in good working order. Requires software upgrade. No badger stripes unfortunately. May have been to the quarry which may explain the lack of indicators. ''The world needs dreamers that DO!''

.I RIDE THEREFORE I AM!

Hey Freak, careful I have established that there are a couple of Harley owners lurking on this forum :-P Andy1200 Never ride faster than your guardian angel can fly!!!

Yup and I know who they are, hence the ribbing. I RIDE THEREFORE I AM!

Well since they are still lurking, maybe this will draw them out!! :-PHarleys Andy1200 Never ride faster than your guardian angel can fly!!!

.I RIDE THEREFORE I AM!

What can I say? Ignorence? Ride safe

Dear Sirs, In view of what seems to be happening internationally with banks at the moment, I was wondering if you could advise me. If one of my cheques is returned marked "insufficient funds", how will I know whether that refers to me or to you . Just seeking clarification. RIDE, RACE, PLAY! I RIDE THEREFORE I AM.

I RIDE THEREFORE I AM! RIDE, RACE ,PLAY! .

.I RIDE THEREFORE I AM!

todays smirk

Werk bietjie laat vannaand bokkie .... Kantoor - Sport Kroeg

RIDE, RACE, PLAY !!!!!!!!!!!!! I RIDE THEREFORE I AM! .

A Priest was about to finish his tour of duty, and was leaving his mission in the jungle where he has spent 20 years teaching the natives when he realizes that the one thing he never taught them was how to speak English. So he takes the chief for a walk in the forest. He points to a tree and says to the chief, 'This is a tree.' The chief looks at the tree and grunts, 'Tree.' The Priest is pleased with the response. They walk a little further and he points to a rock and says, 'This is a rock.' Hearing this, the chief looks and grunts, 'Rock.' The Priest was really getting enthusiastic about the results when he hears a rustling in the bushes. As they peek over the top, he sees a couple of natives in the midst of heavy sexual activity. The Priest is really flustered and quickly responds, 'Man riding a bike.' The chief looks at the couple briefly, pulls out his blowgun and kills them. The Priest goes ballistic and yells at the chief that he has spent years teaching the tribe how to be civilized and be kind to each other, so how could he kill these people in cold blood that way? The chief replied, 'My bike.'

.I RIDE THEREFORE I AM!

. RIDE, RACE, PLAY! I RIDE THEREFORE I AM!

redhanded

We've all had trouble with our animals, but I don't think anyone can top this one: Calling in sick to work makes me uncomfortable. No matter how legitimate my excuse, I always get the feeling that my boss thinks I'm lying. On one recent occasion, I had a valid reason but lied anyway, because the truth was just too darned humiliating. I simply mentioned that I had sustained a head injury, and I hoped I would feel up to coming in the next day. By then, I reasoned, I could think up a doozy to explain the bandage on the top of my head. The accident occurred mainly because I had given in to my wife's wishes to adopt a cute little kitty. Initially, the new acquisition was no problem. Then one morning, I was taking my shower after breakfast when I heard my wife, Deb, call out to me from the kitchen. 'Honey! The garbage disposal is dead again. Please come reset it.' 'You know where the button is,' I protested through the shower pitter-patter and steam. 'Reset it yourself!' 'But I'm scared!' she persisted. 'What if it starts going and sucks me in?' There was a meaningful pause and then, 'C'mon, it'll only take you a second.' So out I came, dripping wet and butt naked, hoping that my silent outraged nudity would make a statement about how I perceived her behavior as extremely cowardly. Sighing loudly, I squatted down and stuck my head under the sink to find the button. It is the last action I remember performing. It struck without warning, and without any respect to my circumstances. No, it wasn't the hexed disposal, drawing me into its gnashing metal teeth. It was our new kitty, who discovered the fascinating dangling objects she spied hanging between my legs. She had been poised around the corner and stalked me as I reached under the sink. And, at the precise moment when I was most vulnerable, she leapt at the toys I unwittingly offered and snagged them with her needle-like claws. I lost all rational thought to control orderly bodily movements, blindly rising at a violent rate of speed, with the full weight of a kitten hanging from my masculine region. Wild animals are sometimes faced with a 'fight or flight' syndrome. Men, in this predicament, choose only the 'flight' option. I know this from experience. I was fleeing straight up into the air when the sink and cabinet bluntly and forcefully impeded my ascent. The impact knocked me out cold. When I awoke, my wife and the paramedics stood over me. Now there are not many things in this life worse than finding oneself lying on the kitchen floor butt naked in front of a group of 'been-there, done-that' paramedics. Even worse, having been fully briefed by my wife, the paramedics were all snorting loudly as they tried to conduct their work, all the while trying to suppress their hysterical laughter......and not succeeding. Somehow I lived through it all. A few days later I finally made it back in to the office, where colleagues tried to coax an explanation out of me about my head injury. I kept silent, claiming it was too painful to talk about, which it was. 'What's the matter?' They all asked, 'Cat got your tongue?'

I RIDE THEREFORE I AM! .

I know this is not funny, but some body must have sat there and thought it was a huge joke. http://www.news24.com/News24/South_Africa/News/0,,2-7-1442_2425436,00.html Why use such a hard word for "Illiteracy." I mean the poor people have enough trouble with the easy ones. I'm sorry, I'm illllli... ili... ile ..... @#$^#@ I can't read good. There must have been a bunch of old pompous English farts who sat around drinking tea while they where dreaming up ways of messing with the peasants. Unless it came from Latin, in witch case I know they where messing with every body. I know I have a twisted sense of humour, but I can't help thinking. Lets Ride!!!

I think the funniest of the whole 2008 is this...uuuhhhmmmmmmm....(family forum this so lets just relax a bit)....."guy". Funny Guy Johan de Jager "It's all about the ride, nothing else"

Daniel sorry to "spoil the mood" here. From 1996 to 2007 I was lecturing at Cape Technikon. You must see the lack of BASIC communication skills !!! From about 2002/3 there was a marked decrease in the abilities of school leavers ... Pass rates have effectively halved for most subjects. One colleague did a survey of his pass rates. The "best" group was people form "mid Africa"!! Their understanding, approach, work ethic etc far outpaced any local "group". Even the Legal Council has officially commented on the "lack of basic communication skills" of people sitting for their bar exams !!!